Your Husband Might
Home Up

 


"Your Husband Might be a cross dresser if."


1 The pantyhose coupon in the Sunday paper is already torn out.
2 He always volunteers to drop off the Goodwill donations.
3 He says he has to shave his legs because all that hair gives him a rash.
4 He helps you pick out the right shade of lipstick to go with your new lip liner.
5 While planning your wedding, he wanted to help you pick out a dress.
6 He mistakenly buys you gift shoes in his size -- and they seem worn.
7 The lipstick blots on the tissue in the toilet doesn't match your shades.
8 The "fish scales" you keep finding on the floor have holes in them, and you don't own any sequin dresses.
9 The threads you keep finding around your sewing machine don't seem to match anything you have been working on.
10 You find yourself writing to lipstick manufacturers to complain that your lipsticks don't last as long as they used to -- before you got married.
11 The `hair' in your brush is blonde, and your husband and you are brunettes.
12 He has remodeled your bedroom and bathroom with more mirrors -- and you didn't have to ask him.
13 He never seems to head for the refrigerator during women's ads on TV and he watches them intently.
14 He seems to be stifling a smirk every time you use abbreviations like T.V. or T.S.
15 While shopping, he thoughtfully reminds you that you are running out of make-up products.
16 You never see him without socks on.
17 "Wrong numbers" are always calling for people with woman names.
18 He knows more about lines of cosmetics and their application than you do.
19 There are lipstick stains on cigarettes and it's not your shade.
20 He brings lingerie home he found in the trash.
21 You keep finding matching lingerie in his attaché case.
22 He tells you to buy larger lingerie so it will last longer.
23 He's always asking to do your make-up.
24 He can name the starting lineup, along with their vital statistics, of the Dallas Cowboy's Cheerleaders, but gets a blank look when someone mentions Troy Aikman.
25 He wants to wear the dress at your wedding.
26 He would rather see you in your underwear than naked.
27 Your lingerie drawers are not as you left them.
28 He makes up reasons why you need to cut through the lingerie department.
29 He loves Halloween and Valentine's day a little too much.
30 He gets aroused watching you get dressed and putting on your make-up.
31 Your new high heels suddenly seem to be looser than they were the last time you wore them.
32 You find lingerie and stockings in the laundry that you didn't wear or are not yours.
33 He always asks you what it feels like to be a woman.
34 He slows down to sneak a glance at bridal and formal gown window displays.
35 He begs you to talk about dressing him up in lingerie and feminine outfits while having sex with him.
36 He makes excuses why he has to go into your underwear drawer.
37 He offers to do your laundry. And whenever he does he "loses things".
38 Your prettiest and frilliest underwear always seems to disappear.
39 His eyelashes seem thicker than normal, his eyebrows seem thinner than normal.
40 He wants you to read Cosmopolitan articles out loud to him.
41 Your lingerie and fashion catalogues are missing.
42 He looks at lingerie advertisements a little longer than usual.
43 He asked to be dressed as French maid in petticoats for Halloween.
44 He is more interested in your underwear than you are.
45 He does not want you to take off your bra or slip before and during sex.
46 When your neighbor comes to visit and she says to your husband "So how's your twin Sister".
47 His legs are not as hairy as they used to be.
48 There are boxes in the closet which are mysteriously elusive and contain" nothing"......just " old stuff".
49 You find a pair of size 12 pink pumps hidden in the closet.
50 He says "the girls" have "talked him into" doing a drag skit for the company party.
51 He always leaves the toilet seat down, even when he's the last one who used it.
52 You have more silky lingerie in your drawer and its three sizes larger then you wear.
53 You wake up in the morning and he is wearing the new baby doll outfit he bought you and says "HOW DID I GET IN THIS OUTFIT" I must got the wrong pajamas last night.
54 You discover your wet bathing suite hanging in the shower and you haven't gone swimming lately.
55 He comments on the cost effectiveness of wearing thigh highs instead of panty hose.
56 He wants to save your old pantyhose for "arts and crafts".
57 All of the sales ladies at Victoria's Secret /Frederick's know him on a first name basis.
58 He doesn't look that upset when you have to go visit your mother for a week.
59 He "begs" you not to throw out those high heels that went out of style 2 years ago.
60 Your "special" lingerie that you haven't worn for a year keeps moving to different places in your dresser.
61 That new pair of ultra sheer tights you wore for the first time last night develop a ladder in your dresser drawer.
62 He 'Takes Off' his 'Face' in the 'Morning' to go to work.
63 He keeps telling you to buy stockings instead of pantyhose to save money replacing the whole set instead of   just one.
64 He has pink toe nails.
65 He's always buying you nice dresses if you and he are close to the same size.
66 He tells the saleslady at a women's clothing store " I'm not sure what size my wife wears but she is about my size".
67 He likes to wear your perfume.
68 He watches the Nik at Night "All night Munster Festival" just to see the episode when Grandpa changes into beautiful woman to make Lillian jealous.
69 He scans the TV guide looking for episodes with men in dresses.
70 He wears a bikini to get the "proper" tan.
71 He describes your romantic sunset in terms of L'Oreal color numbers.
72 You find presents to "Suzie" under the Christmas tree, and your name isn't Suzie.
73 The only wax isn't in his ears.
74 He buys you Miss Clairol to match his favorite outfit of yours.
75 The sink suddenly becomes clogged with 1" hairs.
76 He starts criticizing your attire by saying "I wouldn't wear" ...
77 He tells you that "even Nair smells better than"
78 He insisted on demonstrating the Lady Norelco he just bought "for you".
79 You receive "Just her size" catalogs and your a size 4.
80 The "Hanes her way" subscription has his name on it.
81 He has a 5 o'clock shadow on his legs.
82 He locks himself into the bedroom for an hour when you surprise him by coming home from your long weekend business trip a day early.
 83 His favorite songs are "Lola" by the Kinks, "Get Back" by the Beatles, & "Supermodel of the World" by RuPaul.
84 He has dark lines under his eyes...instead of circles....
85 He likes to wear your stockings instead of long-johns.
86 He prefers stockings and garter belts to pantyhose.
87 He has some unusual tan lines.
88 He shaves 7" below his adams apple.
89 His clothes and closet are more organized than yours.
99 His jewelry case is larger than yours.
100  The local beauty shop calls to confirm his 2 p.m. facial
101  He doesn't mind holding your purse for you while you shop.
102  He has both ears pierced "by accident"!
103 He seems to *really* enjoy going to costume parties.
104 You seem to be going through more Make-up than usual.
105 He is on Hanes Outlet's Preferred Customer List.
106 He prefers Secret deodorant to Right Guard.
107 He has more silky underwear than you do.
108 He asks you a lot of questions about fashion.
109 He likes to browse through women's shops with you.
110 He likes to watch female impersonators on the talk shows.
111 He watches you intently as you get ready.
112 His fingernails are well manicured.
113 He knows more about skin care than anyone you know.
114 He likes to fix your hair.
115 He likes to get chatty and share experiences.
116 He looks at a voluptuous beautiful girl and comments on her shoes.
117 He takes you to see "The Bird Cage", "Queen of the Desert", "Tootsie", or to female impersonator shows. Or if you own these videos.
118 He is able to accessorize you.
119 He doesn't have a problem buying you items that are exclusively for women while you are not with him.
120 He "mistakenly" buys you women's clothes that are actually his size and never gets around to returning them.
121 He stays on internet chats all night as Darla.
122 He takes longer to get ready than you do.
123You catch your husband looking at women's magazines, or has a subscription to Victoria's Secret in his name.
124 You have to remind him that "CD" means compact disk to most people.

 

Last modified: 12/24/13